​Sweet Thomas sitting upon Jesus’ lap and the two of them laughing together, and our family members and friends who have gone on crowded around them singing Happy Birthday, and everyone stuffing their faces with endless birthday cake, and dancing, and lots and lots of laughter… that’s the celebration I picture when I think of Thomas’ second birthday in Heaven (if birthdays are even celebrated in Heaven). Oh, how I wish I could have been there.

​The birthday week
The week leading up to Thomas’ birthday was very hard for me, especially the Friday before for some reason. It was awful, worst day for me in a while. That morning we had presented the Thomas Alexander Lambert V Memorial Scholarship to a very deserving student. On the way home, the song “Thy Will” came on the radio. Here are a few of the lyrics:
 
I'm so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don't wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I've got is hurt and these four words
 
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
 
I heard this song for the first time that morning and wept the entire time thinking about my sweet Thomas and how my heart still aches that he's not here with me, not here growing up with his little sister. I have questions; I will never understand why Thomas had to be born with KID Syndrome and why his time on Earth was cut short. But, God's plans are far greater than I could ever imagine. Whatever you may be going through, just give it to God and say, "Thy will be done." Trust me, I know that's hard, but He is good and His plan is perfect. We're never going to understand, we just have to keep our faith and trust in Him.

​Thomas’ 2nd birthday – May 22, 2016
We decided to do something a little different for Thomas’ birthday this year; my mom actually came up with the idea. We celebrated at the cemetery where Thomas is buried. Our family and a few close friends joined us for a balloon release and cupcakes. Everyone wrote a message on their balloon to sweet Thomas; the kids loved that part of it. Having Thomas’ baby sister in our arms during the balloon release was very special. After watching our red and white balloons drift into the sky, we all enjoyed cupcakes and a time of fellowship. His party was simple but different and meant a lot to Buddy and me. It was never the party I imagined we would be having for Thomas’ second birthday, but I trust God’s will, not my will. So I will end with this: Luke 22:42 of the Bible says, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
 
We would like to thank all of our family and friends for your prayers, love and support; you will never know how much you mean to us. We hope you’ll take a moment to check out pictures from Thomas’ birthday celebration. 

​First of all, I want you to know you’re in my thoughts and prayers. Facing each day is not easy, believe me I know. And, if you’re anything like me, this particular day is going to be especially difficult to overcome. Please know that however you feel about this holiday is totally normal. If you want to lie in bed all day, that’s ok. If you want to go about your day as normal, that’s great! I would just like to share with you how I survived my first Mother’s Day in hopes that it can be of benefit and encouragement to you.
 
As Mother’s Day approached last year, I wouldn’t say I dreaded it, but I would say I was afraid to face it. Every day is extremely hard for me, but I knew that day was going to be even harder because I would be more aware of it and its meaning. When the thought of Mother’s Day crossed my mind, all I would think about is lying in bed and crying all day. I certainly didn’t think I would be able to make it to church, and I really didn’t want to get out and do anything. Honestly, I didn’t know if I would even be able to make it out of bed. As Mother’s day drew closer, Buddy and I began to ask others who have lost a child what they did for their first Mother’s Day after their loss. One couple told us they visited a different church in a completely different city from their own. A friend told me she wore a Super Man shirt to church to display that she’s a super mom because that’s what it takes to give a baby back to God. Our grief counselor told us that many couples go out of town to get away for the weekend. Go out of town, that actually sounded really good to me and that’s exactly what we did. The following is how I spent Mother’s Day weekend to try to survive. I hope these ideas help you.
 
Getting away for the weekend
Buddy had been following a Jeep Grand Cherokee for sale in Kentucky for quite some time and felt ready to make a move. So I told him that Mother’s Day weekend would be the perfect time for us to travel and purchase the Jeep. I knew this trip would be beneficial for both of us. Not only would it get me away for the weekend, but it would force me out of bed on Sunday because we would have to travel back home. Even though we weren’t doing anything too exciting for the weekend, Buddy still wanted to make it special for me. He booked us at a nice Marriott resort in Tennessee. After purchasing the Jeep on Saturday, Buddy took me to a really nice restaurant for dinner and then we saw a movie. It was a tough day, but we made the most of it and Buddy made our date memorable and special despite our circumstances.
 
Visiting my mother, family and doing a balloon release
After we returned home on Sunday, I was ready to see my mother. I went to my grandfather’s house where she was. I had something special planned for us to do together. My grandmother, my mom’s mother, passed away almost three years ago. My mom has had a very hard time since then. I got two balloons and told her I wanted her to write a message to Mawmaw and I was going to write a message to Thomas and then we would release our balloons to them. She loved the idea and immediately began writing her message. My mom, dad, brother, grandfather and myself all went outside together and released the balloons to our angels in Heaven. It was a very special moment for all of us, and it especially meant a lot to my mom. We then went back inside and my older sister and nephew joined us for cake to conclude the evening. As hard as the day was, I had such a great time with my family.

​Getting away for the weekend, doing the balloon release with my mom and spending time with my family definitely helped me get through Mother’s Day. And, if you choose to partake in any of these ideas, I pray that they help you just as they did me. However, the real reason I survived Mother’s Day is because of my faith. I am constantly reminded of the story of David and his son in the Bible. David had hope that he would see his son again. 2 Samuel 12:23 says, “But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” I cling to this same hope. Thomas will not return to me but I will go to him, and what an incredible Mother’s Day that will be! However you choose to spend Mother’s Day, I hope you’re able to cling to that same hope that you will see your baby again one day.