Thomas Alexander Lambert V wasn’t due until July 2, 2014, but our little stinker wanted to surprise us and make his grand entrance into this world on May 22, six weeks early, instead. We were worried when my water broke because we didn’t know how much Thomas would weigh, if he would be able to breathe on his own or if he would need oxygen. Our four pound bundle of joy was so strong and just needed to learn how to eat on his own and grow. Even though I was worried at the time, and it was very hard not to be able to bring my baby home right after birth, I told Buddy recently that God had blessed us with extra time with Thomas and I wouldn’t change that for anything.

Ichthyosis Awareness Month
After learning that Thomas had ichthyosis we discovered that May is Ichthyosis Awareness Month (IAM). I always thought it was interesting he was born during the month dedicated to the skin disorder he had. For this reason, I decided in April that I would devote the month of May to educating people about ichthyosis and remembering Thomas through pictures on Facebook and Instagram. There is a lot to learn about his skin condition and the different types. If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll take the time to learn more here.

After Thomas was born, I had many thoughts about his first birthday and how we would celebrate. One thought that never ever crossed my mind is that he wouldn’t be here physically for his party. I never imagined he wouldn’t be here to eat his smash cake, to blow out his candle, for us to sing Happy Birthday to him, and to swim in the pool with his daddy. It is heartbreaking that those things didn’t happen, but what I do imagine now is that he sat in Jesus’ lap while our Lord sang Happy Birthday to him, and there is no question he could hear it! I can’t help but smile thinking about his laughter as he was celebrated by Jesus and our family and friends who are with him. I wish I could have been there too as I know it was a celebration like none other.

The birthday week
As Thomas’ birthday approached, I knew I still wanted to celebrate his precious life as if he was still here physically with us. I told Buddy I wanted to have a party at our house and invite our families and a few close friends. Right after Thomas passed away I needed a project so we decided to completely redo our den. Buddy loves projects so he jumped on it very quickly. We had a lot of pictures of Thomas printed and framed for the funeral and I knew I wanted to use them in our new den. One Saturday, while my mom and I shopped for a few more décor items, Buddy painted the entire den, so it was ready to be decorated by the time we got home. But I realized very quickly that I wasn’t ready to put everything out yet, so my project went undone for several months. I write all of this to say the project had to be completed before everyone came over for the party so Buddy and I spent Thomas’ birthday week decorating the den. It was very hard and I cried with each picture of Thomas I placed as they brought back many memories. Along with the pictures, Buddy and I started to relive our first moments with Thomas. We cried together many times throughout the week. We also spent a lot of time getting our Web site ready to be launched on Thomas’ birthday. We intended to publish the Web site back in the fall to keep everyone updated on Thomas but then we went into the hospital and it had to be put on hold. I knew I still wanted to have the Web site in hopes it would impact, bless and benefit others but I didn’t know if or when I would be ready to release it. As time went by, I informed Buddy in April I wanted to debut it on Thomas’ birthday; I believed it would be very special and sort of like a birthday present not only to Thomas but for everyone else as well.

Thomas’ 1st birthday – May 22, 2015
As you can imagine, Buddy and I woke up in tears as our sweet baby wasn’t in our arms on his first birthday. While it was hard to get out of bed, we knew we had a busy day ahead of us. We took Max to Petsmart to be groomed and then headed to the cemetery to decorate Thomas’ grave and spend some time with him. We talked to him, took a lot of pictures and ate a cupcake for him. We then picked up his cake from a very special friend. The theme of Thomas’ birthday was baby elephants, which is what his nursery is done in and also what our friends did my baby tea in last year. Our friend made a small cake for my baby tea that we saved because it was perfect for Thomas’ smash cake. Even though I knew we wouldn’t eat it, I still wanted to display it and put a #1 candle in it. As we traveled home to get ready for the party, I shared with Buddy some of my favorite memories with Thomas. I always enjoyed cuddling with him, especially after bath time. Thomas HATED getting a bath, so I got to rescue him every time and we both loved it so much. I also loved laying him on my chest as we watched Bachelor in Paradise together. Another favorite memory I mentioned was Thomas’ first (and only) beach trip. My parents, Buddy and I took Thomas to the beach in September before he became very sick. I can’t tell you how thankful I am we got to take him to the beach and make those memories. We have sweet pictures we will treasure forever. I also really enjoyed Thanksgiving Day with Thomas; it was just a good day. I held him a good bit of the day, and then Buddy held him for a while. My family came to visit us in the hospital and brought us dinner. We had great conversation, a lot of laughter and took some precious pictures with Thomas in his little turkey outfit. It was one of his last good days before he became seriously ill.

I will end with this: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him.” Psalm 28:7 of the Bible. The Lord is the source of our strength. He is the reason we survived Thomas’ birthday; He is the reason we survive every day, there’s just no other way to explain it. We would also like to thank all of our family and friends for your prayers, love and support; you will never know how much you mean to us. CLICK HERE to view pictures from Thomas’ birthday.

In August of 2002, I started dating the love of my life, Buddy Lambert. We were from the same community our entire lives, but didn’t meet until right before college. We met at Bethel Baptist Church, our home church now, and we’ve been together ever since. We both attended the University of Alabama, our favorite place on Earth! Buddy actually proposed to me in front of the President’s Mansion on Dec. 22, 2005. After a long engagement, we married on July 21, 2007, one of the happiest days of our lives.

We always knew we wanted to have children but we wanted to wait a little while (little did we know, a “little” while would turn into a “LONG” while). We had plans to travel and enjoy just the two of us. We did get to do so much! We’re huge Alabama fans, so we enjoy going to all of the football games. We went to the 2009 National Championship Game in Pasadena, 2011 Championship Game in New Orleans and 2012 Championship Game in Miami. We also went to the kickoff game in Dallas in 2012. Those times were some of the best of our lives. We also traveled to different parts of the Caribbean, and visited Ft. Lauderdale, Las Vegas and Savannah. Buddy took me on some amazing anniversary trips and made them very special!

So what about kids? On May 18, 2011, Sullivan Elizabeth Brown was born into this world. Sullivan is the daughter of some of our closest friends. We went to the hospital to visit them when she was born. After holding Sullivan and spending time with her, we couldn’t stop talking about her and how much we wanted to see her again. At that point in our lives, we had been married almost four years and many of our friends already had children, so we knew it was time to start thinking about having kids. After much prayer and direction from God, we decided we would start trying at the beginning of 2012. I can still remember the day I took my last birth control pill; I was so excited. My mom told me it took her and my dad about 4-6 months to get pregnant with my older sister, so that is the timetable I was counting on. We hoped to be pregnant by the middle of 2012. God showed me real quick it was about Him and His plans and not me and my plans. You see, after coming off birth control my body didn’t return to normal. It was a very frustrating season of our lives. It seemed like everyone around us was becoming pregnant while we struggled. I was reminded of Isaiah 55:8 in the Bible, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither your ways my ways, declares the Lord.”

Our answered prayer
Finally, after nine months, my doctor decided to start me on a fertility drug. After several tests, being on the fertility drug for three months and praying harder, Buddy and I found out we were pregnant! We were very excited but nervous at the same time. We couldn’t be happier that God had finally answered our prayers. We had to wait three weeks before our first OB appointment. The anticipation was nerve wracking to say the least! On Jan. 17, 2013, we went in for our first ultrasound. We were seven weeks pregnant so we were looking forward to seeing our baby’s heartbeat. The technician began the ultrasound, only our baby was measuring four weeks instead of seven and we did not see a heartbeat. Being on the fertility treatment, we knew exactly when we got pregnant and there was no question we should be seven weeks pregnant. My doctor spent a great deal of time talking with us and she basically gave us a 50/50 shot. So needless to say, we were very sad and nervous, but decided we were going to trust God because we knew He would take care of everything.

A week later we returned to the doctor for a follow-up ultrasound. This time, I measured five weeks and five days, and we saw the heartbeat! We were ecstatic; and my doctor felt a lot more confident about this pregnancy. She said she wanted us to come back in two weeks for another ultrasound to confirm the due date.

Our worst nightmare
On February 8, 2013, mine and Buddy’s lives changed forever. We were so excited about this ultrasound; we believed we would not only see the heartbeat but hear it as well. The technician started the ultrasound and quickly stopped. She said she needed to get my doctor and she would be right back. We knew that didn’t sound good but tried to remain positive. My doctor looked at the ultrasound and gave us (what we thought at the time) the worst news we had ever received. She told us there was no heartbeat and no blood flow to the area. The baby also only measured six weeks and two days and at that point should be measuring 10 weeks. Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe how we felt. It was a complete nightmare. My doctor talked with us for a while and recommended I have a D&C. She said she would give us the weekend to think about it and she would call me Monday. Up until that point in our lives, that was the hardest thing we had ever been through. Our parents didn’t even know we were trying to have a baby; we wanted to surprise them. But I knew I could never have a surgery like that and not tell my mother. So we spent the weekend informing our parents about what happened. They grieved with us and supported our decision to move forward with the D&C. The day after Valentine’s Day I had the surgery. It was a very hard day for us and our families.

A season of sadness
The next few months were very dark and trying. I learned a lot during that time about myself and about God. He showed me that I was selfish and only thought about what I wanted. While it was an extremely difficult time for me, I definitely matured in my faith and turned our situation over to God. It was still very hard however, I can remember calling Buddy many times crying and telling him I wanted to scream. Buddy was extremely supportive, yet truthful. I believe God used him to speak to me. He sat me down one night and told me no matter what happens, good or bad, we are going to continue to worship and praise God. He said we praise Him during the good times and the bad. Those words really spoke to me and I knew that’s what I needed to hear.

Our journey continues
We had to wait several months after the surgery before we could start trying again. We started the fertility drug again in June. In July, we celebrated our 6-year wedding anniversary in Savannah. It was one of the most romantic trips Buddy has ever taken me on. He made it extremely special. It was also an emotional trip as I desired to be pregnant so badly. When we returned, we booked my trip to the Dominican Republic for a mission trip with our church at the beginning of August. Buddy booked his trip earlier in the year with the rest of the group. I waited to book because my doctor did not want me out of the country if I was pregnant. At this point I wasn’t pregnant so we felt good about me going on the mission trip. Six days before we were scheduled to leave, we found out we were pregnant! Wow, talk about timing! We had so many emotions, from excitement to fright. My doctor wanted me to have blood work done this time to confirm the pregnancy as well as follow-up blood work to ensure my numbers were increasing the way they should be. The blood work confirmed that I was pregnant. Buddy and I knew we had to tell everyone because I was no longer going to be able to go on the mission trip. In an ideal situation we wouldn’t announce until we were past the first trimester, especially with what happened with our first pregnancy, but we didn’t want to lie to everyone as to why I could no longer go on the mission trip. So we announced. Everyone was very happy for us. We felt really good about this pregnancy and truly believed this was it. We felt so good about it that Buddy went ahead and went on the mission trip.

Our worst nightmare happens again
Buddy and the mission team left for the Dominican on Saturday. On Monday, I went in for my follow-up blood work appointment. By Tuesday, things didn’t feel right. The pregnancy symptoms I was having were quickly starting to go away. I immediately called my doctor’s office but didn’t hear back from my doctor until the next day. She called to inform me that my numbers were nowhere near where they needed to be, and they were actually almost back down to zero. I of course lost it while I was on the phone with her. I was sad, we had already announced, Buddy was out of the country, I was scared. My doctor told me at that point there was nothing more she could do and recommended we see a specialist. She had previously discussed a specialist with us that she knew personally whom she recommended we use if the time came that we needed to see him. She told me to go ahead and call his office. She also thought it was very important that I go ahead and tell Buddy what had happened. I immediately left work and drove to my mother’s work. She met me outside and tried to comfort me. She made some calls to make sure Buddy received the horrific news. She then followed me home and she and my dad came over to my house to take care of me. Buddy called me and we talked for a while. It was very hard because I didn’t have my husband there to comfort me. For the longest time I didn’t understand why God would allow that to happen. But then He showed me that He wanted me to rely completely on Him. That’s all I could do. I picked up Buddy from the airport three days later and it was a very emotional time for both of us.

Continue our journey or not?
Even though I dreaded to make the call, I did call the specialist’s office and scheduled an appointment. At this point, I didn’t know what I wanted. But we had a little while to think and pray about it because my appointment was a few weeks away. Also, my due date for our first baby was approaching so Buddy and I decided to get out of town. We went to College Station for the Texas A&M vs. Bama football game. We needed to just get away and enjoy some time together. I talked with Buddy and one of my closest friends because I didn’t know if I wanted to keep trying. I didn’t want to suffer another loss. I was ready to give up. If it had not been for Buddy and my friend, who was already a mother, I would have given up, and thank God I didn’t!

Our miracle is conceived
When Buddy and I returned from our trip we went to our specialist appointment. They did a ton (like 16 vials) of blood work. We really liked our doctor and looked forward to finding out if the blood work would reveal anything. It did! A couple of weeks later, the nurse practitioner called me and informed me that I have two mutations with my MTHFR gene. One was a folic acid absorption deficiency and the other was a blood clotting problem. She said these mutations most likely explain the miscarriages. She immediately started me on a high dosage of folic acid and told me to take a baby aspirin every day. She said once I became pregnant, they would start me on Lovenox injections for the blood clotting. I was put back on the fertility drug for the LAST TIME! That’s right... we immediately became pregnant with Thomas, our miracle baby. I thank God so much that I didn’t give up because I would have missed out on the biggest blessing I have ever received. The specialist followed us very closely for the first 10 weeks and then I was released back to my regular OB. Everything went very well with the pregnancy and Thomas Alexander Lambert V was born on May 22, 2014. After two and a half years, our long awaited one had arrived. Thomas truly is our miracle and we can’t thank God enough for the time He gave us with Thomas on this Earth. Obviously, we wanted things to turn out differently but we cling to the hope that we will see Thomas again one day soon.