What I’ve learned since your birth
Satan didn’t win two hours after Thomas was born when we found out he had a rare skin condition. Satan didn’t win when we were told that Thomas couldn’t hear and that he couldn’t see well. Satan didn’t win the week that Buddy and I received bad news after bad news that landed us back in the hospital for a week when Thomas needed a feeding tube. Again, Satan didn’t win on Oct. 6, 2014, when we were admitted back into the hospital because Thomas had his first skin infection. Satan didn’t win after Thomas had his second, third and fourth skin infection, which ultimately led to a blood infection. Satan didn’t win when we found out Thomas had a cold virus. Satan didn’t win on the hardest day of our lives when Thomas left this world physically and entered the gates of Heaven. Satan didn’t win all those days and nights when I couldn’t sleep and couldn’t stop crying in pain from missing my sweet Thomas. And, Satan is not winning today on our son’s third birthday!
These sad and heartbreaking situations didn’t cause us to turn our backs on God, which is what Satan wanted; they only caused us to pray harder. In fact, in Thomas’ short life on Earth, Buddy and I prayed like never before. Other than when we professed Christ as our Savior, I can’t think of a time that we trusted and relied on God more in our lives. We received more bad news than good with Thomas and we felt God’s presence the entire time. We praised Him during the good times and we prayed harder during the bad times. We’re still heartbroken, have questions and don’t understand why Thomas was born with KID Syndrome, and I think we’ll always feel this way until we’re with him again. But, we will never blame God for what happened.
After Thomas was born, I learned how to give up myself immediately. I believe as a mother this is very easy. I desired to care for him and spend time with him. Our time was completely devoted to him. Thomas had multiple doctors’ visits each week. Because of his skin condition, we would spend about two hours each night giving him a bath and applying his special creams. We lived at the hospital with Thomas for two months. We wouldn’t change any of the time we spent with Thomas. God definitely taught us all about humility and selflessness when Thomas was here.
I learned that Thomas was God’s all along; He lent Thomas to us for six and a half months to be his earthly parents. Our children belong to God. Because of what we went through with Thomas, we turned Alexandria over to God almost immediately after she was born.
God wants me to love Him more than anyone or anything. This is something I struggle with. There are times I feel like I love my husband and children more than God. And then I’m reminded of the hardest day of our lives when God chose to heal our precious son completely. I believe when you’re willing to let your child go, that is a true love for God like none I could ever explain. I believe my love for God is different from the love I have for Buddy, Thomas and Alexandria.
This is probably not the post you were expecting on Thomas’ birthday, but these are things God has laid on my heart lately and I felt this was the best time to share them. I wanted to end with a verse that one of my sweet students sent me this morning that I believe couldn’t be more perfect for this post and this particular day. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer,” Romans 12:12. We can celebrate our son’s birthday with joy today and lean on the hope that one day we will be with him again. We will be patient and faithful in prayer when we hurt and on days that are hard. I hope that somehow you were able to find comfort in what God has taught me since Thomas’ birth.
After Thomas was born, I learned how to give up myself immediately. I believe as a mother this is very easy. I desired to care for him and spend time with him. Our time was completely devoted to him. Thomas had multiple doctors’ visits each week. Because of his skin condition, we would spend about two hours each night giving him a bath and applying his special creams. We lived at the hospital with Thomas for two months. We wouldn’t change any of the time we spent with Thomas. God definitely taught us all about humility and selflessness when Thomas was here.
I learned that Thomas was God’s all along; He lent Thomas to us for six and a half months to be his earthly parents. Our children belong to God. Because of what we went through with Thomas, we turned Alexandria over to God almost immediately after she was born.
God wants me to love Him more than anyone or anything. This is something I struggle with. There are times I feel like I love my husband and children more than God. And then I’m reminded of the hardest day of our lives when God chose to heal our precious son completely. I believe when you’re willing to let your child go, that is a true love for God like none I could ever explain. I believe my love for God is different from the love I have for Buddy, Thomas and Alexandria.
This is probably not the post you were expecting on Thomas’ birthday, but these are things God has laid on my heart lately and I felt this was the best time to share them. I wanted to end with a verse that one of my sweet students sent me this morning that I believe couldn’t be more perfect for this post and this particular day. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer,” Romans 12:12. We can celebrate our son’s birthday with joy today and lean on the hope that one day we will be with him again. We will be patient and faithful in prayer when we hurt and on days that are hard. I hope that somehow you were able to find comfort in what God has taught me since Thomas’ birth.