Finally, after nine months, my doctor decided to start me on a fertility drug. After several tests, being on the fertility drug for three months and praying harder, Buddy and I found out we were pregnant! We were very excited but nervous at the same time. We couldn’t be happier that God had finally answered our prayers. We had to wait three weeks before our first OB appointment. The anticipation was nerve wracking to say the least! On Jan. 17, 2013, we went in for our first ultrasound. We were seven weeks pregnant so we were looking forward to seeing our baby’s heartbeat. The technician began the ultrasound, only our baby was measuring four weeks instead of seven and we did not see a heartbeat. Being on the fertility treatment, we knew exactly when we got pregnant and there was no question we should be seven weeks pregnant. My doctor spent a great deal of time talking with us and she basically gave us a 50/50 shot. So needless to say, we were very sad and nervous, but decided we were going to trust God because we knew He would take care of everything.
A week later we returned to the doctor for a follow-up ultrasound. This time, I measured five weeks and five days, and we saw the heartbeat! We were ecstatic; and my doctor felt a lot more confident about this pregnancy. She said she wanted us to come back in two weeks for another ultrasound to confirm the due date.
Our worst nightmare
On February 8, 2013, mine and Buddy’s lives changed forever. We were so excited about this ultrasound; we believed we would not only see the heartbeat but hear it as well. The technician started the ultrasound and quickly stopped. She said she needed to get my doctor and she would be right back. We knew that didn’t sound good but tried to remain positive. My doctor looked at the ultrasound and gave us (what we thought at the time) the worst news we had ever received. She told us there was no heartbeat and no blood flow to the area. The baby also only measured six weeks and two days and at that point should be measuring 10 weeks. Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe how we felt. It was a complete nightmare. My doctor talked with us for a while and recommended I have a D&C. She said she would give us the weekend to think about it and she would call me Monday. Up until that point in our lives, that was the hardest thing we had ever been through. Our parents didn’t even know we were trying to have a baby; we wanted to surprise them. But I knew I could never have a surgery like that and not tell my mother. So we spent the weekend informing our parents about what happened. They grieved with us and supported our decision to move forward with the D&C. The day after Valentine’s Day I had the surgery. It was a very hard day for us and our families.
A season of sadness
The next few months were very dark and trying. I learned a lot during that time about myself and about God. He showed me that I was selfish and only thought about what I wanted. While it was an extremely difficult time for me, I definitely matured in my faith and turned our situation over to God. It was still very hard however, I can remember calling Buddy many times crying and telling him I wanted to scream. Buddy was extremely supportive, yet truthful. I believe God used him to speak to me. He sat me down one night and told me no matter what happens, good or bad, we are going to continue to worship and praise God. He said we praise Him during the good times and the bad. Those words really spoke to me and I knew that’s what I needed to hear.
Our journey continues
We had to wait several months after the surgery before we could start trying again. We started the fertility drug again in June. In July, we celebrated our 6-year wedding anniversary in Savannah. It was one of the most romantic trips Buddy has ever taken me on. He made it extremely special. It was also an emotional trip as I desired to be pregnant so badly. When we returned, we booked my trip to the Dominican Republic for a mission trip with our church at the beginning of August. Buddy booked his trip earlier in the year with the rest of the group. I waited to book because my doctor did not want me out of the country if I was pregnant. At this point I wasn’t pregnant so we felt good about me going on the mission trip. Six days before we were scheduled to leave, we found out we were pregnant! Wow, talk about timing! We had so many emotions, from excitement to fright. My doctor wanted me to have blood work done this time to confirm the pregnancy as well as follow-up blood work to ensure my numbers were increasing the way they should be. The blood work confirmed that I was pregnant. Buddy and I knew we had to tell everyone because I was no longer going to be able to go on the mission trip. In an ideal situation we wouldn’t announce until we were past the first trimester, especially with what happened with our first pregnancy, but we didn’t want to lie to everyone as to why I could no longer go on the mission trip. So we announced. Everyone was very happy for us. We felt really good about this pregnancy and truly believed this was it. We felt so good about it that Buddy went ahead and went on the mission trip.
Buddy and the mission team left for the Dominican on Saturday. On Monday, I went in for my follow-up blood work appointment. By Tuesday, things didn’t feel right. The pregnancy symptoms I was having were quickly starting to go away. I immediately called my doctor’s office but didn’t hear back from my doctor until the next day. She called to inform me that my numbers were nowhere near where they needed to be, and they were actually almost back down to zero. I of course lost it while I was on the phone with her. I was sad, we had already announced, Buddy was out of the country, I was scared. My doctor told me at that point there was nothing more she could do and recommended we see a specialist. She had previously discussed a specialist with us that she knew personally whom she recommended we use if the time came that we needed to see him. She told me to go ahead and call his office. She also thought it was very important that I go ahead and tell Buddy what had happened. I immediately left work and drove to my mother’s work. She met me outside and tried to comfort me. She made some calls to make sure Buddy received the horrific news. She then followed me home and she and my dad came over to my house to take care of me. Buddy called me and we talked for a while. It was very hard because I didn’t have my husband there to comfort me. For the longest time I didn’t understand why God would allow that to happen. But then He showed me that He wanted me to rely completely on Him. That’s all I could do. I picked up Buddy from the airport three days later and it was a very emotional time for both of us.
Continue our journey or not?
Even though I dreaded to make the call, I did call the specialist’s office and scheduled an appointment. At this point, I didn’t know what I wanted. But we had a little while to think and pray about it because my appointment was a few weeks away. Also, my due date for our first baby was approaching so Buddy and I decided to get out of town. We went to College Station for the Texas A&M vs. Bama football game. We needed to just get away and enjoy some time together. I talked with Buddy and one of my closest friends because I didn’t know if I wanted to keep trying. I didn’t want to suffer another loss. I was ready to give up. If it had not been for Buddy and my friend, who was already a mother, I would have given up, and thank God I didn’t!
When Buddy and I returned from our trip we went to our specialist appointment. They did a ton (like 16 vials) of blood work. We really liked our doctor and looked forward to finding out if the blood work would reveal anything. It did! A couple of weeks later, the nurse practitioner called me and informed me that I have two mutations with my MTHFR gene. One was a folic acid absorption deficiency and the other was a blood clotting problem. She said these mutations most likely explain the miscarriages. She immediately started me on a high dosage of folic acid and told me to take a baby aspirin every day. She said once I became pregnant, they would start me on Lovenox injections for the blood clotting. I was put back on the fertility drug for the LAST TIME! That’s right... we immediately became pregnant with Thomas, our miracle baby. I thank God so much that I didn’t give up because I would have missed out on the biggest blessing I have ever received. The specialist followed us very closely for the first 10 weeks and then I was released back to my regular OB. Everything went very well with the pregnancy and Thomas Alexander Lambert V was born on May 22, 2014. After two and a half years, our long awaited one had arrived. Thomas truly is our miracle and we can’t thank God enough for the time He gave us with Thomas on this Earth. Obviously, we wanted things to turn out differently but we cling to the hope that we will see Thomas again one day soon.