What I’ve learned since your birth
After Thomas was born, I learned how to give up myself immediately. I believe as a mother this is very easy. I desired to care for him and spend time with him. Our time was completely devoted to him. Thomas had multiple doctors’ visits each week. Because of his skin condition, we would spend about two hours each night giving him a bath and applying his special creams. We lived at the hospital with Thomas for two months. We wouldn’t change any of the time we spent with Thomas. God definitely taught us all about humility and selflessness when Thomas was here.
I learned that Thomas was God’s all along; He lent Thomas to us for six and a half months to be his earthly parents. Our children belong to God. Because of what we went through with Thomas, we turned Alexandria over to God almost immediately after she was born.
God wants me to love Him more than anyone or anything. This is something I struggle with. There are times I feel like I love my husband and children more than God. And then I’m reminded of the hardest day of our lives when God chose to heal our precious son completely. I believe when you’re willing to let your child go, that is a true love for God like none I could ever explain. I believe my love for God is different from the love I have for Buddy, Thomas and Alexandria.
This is probably not the post you were expecting on Thomas’ birthday, but these are things God has laid on my heart lately and I felt this was the best time to share them. I wanted to end with a verse that one of my sweet students sent me this morning that I believe couldn’t be more perfect for this post and this particular day. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer,” Romans 12:12. We can celebrate our son’s birthday with joy today and lean on the hope that one day we will be with him again. We will be patient and faithful in prayer when we hurt and on days that are hard. I hope that somehow you were able to find comfort in what God has taught me since Thomas’ birth.